Journaling is one of the most effective and accessible ways to work through complex PTSD. You don’t need any fancy tools — just a pen and paper, or even your phone or tablet. It’s simple, affordable, and incredibly powerful.
Technically, there’s no right way to journal — you can write however you like. But I know that for many people, it’s hard to figure out where to start.
So today, I want to share the journaling method I personally use to deal with shame flashbacks.
(If you’re not sure what shame flashbacks are, check out my other post here!)
My Experience with Shame Flashbacks
I’ve had a lot of shame flashbacks — sometimes over 10 times a day, every single day. They happen instantly, often with memories that have nothing to do with what I was thinking at the time. It was exhausting, but for years, I had no idea how to deal with them.
Then, I started journaling. And to my surprise, it worked shockingly well.
I recently went back and read some of my old journal entries, and the memories that used to torment me over and over again now just felt like “Oh yeah, I guess that happened…”.
Journaling isn’t a cure-all — everyone’s experience is different — but for me, it was life-changing.
Key Steps for Shame Flashback Journaling
Here are the main things I focus on when journaling for shame flashbacks:
Write down what happened as if a third party were reading it.
Try to keep it objective — just state the facts of what happened, without adding personal judgments or emotions.
Example (My Personal Experience):
I was freelancing as a student, and a client hired me for a project. I started working on it, but then they disappeared for weeks. Later, they messaged me saying they found someone else and would only pay me a small portion of what was originally agreed upon.
At the time, this memory felt like “proof” that I was a failure. I kept thinking:
“My work must have been awful. They must have hated what I made.”
But when I wrote it down like this, I realized something: I did my best at the time. I didn’t do anything to be ashamed of.
Not being perfect isn’t the same as being shameful.
Now, I shift into self-compassion mode and write down my new perspective:
I used to believe this happened because I was terrible at my job. But now I realize — why didn’t they just tell me earlier? Why did they make me wait for weeks? They saw my portfolio before hiring me, so it’s not like I misled them. And I was already charging way below market price because I was new. If they decided to go with someone else, that’s on them — not me.
This small shift in how I wrote the memory made a huge difference.
If you struggle to feel self-compassion, imagine it’s happening to a child or a friend.
Sometimes, even after writing down the facts, I still feel anger or self-hatred. If that happens, I try reading my story as if it happened to a child or a close friend.
For example, if I imagine a young student going through the same thing, suddenly, my feelings shift:
“That was so unfair. They shouldn’t have treated them like that.”
Then, I practice speaking to myself like a kind mentor or parent:
“That must have been really tough. It’s not your fault. You did your best, and that’s all that matters.”
If only someone had told me that when I was younger…
Write down the messy, ugly feelings — even if they’re uncomfortable.
Shame loves to hide. And sometimes, even when I journal, I notice that I’m avoiding the real core of my emotions.
So if a memory keeps coming back, I challenge myself:
• Am I really writing down everything I feel?
• Am I holding back because I don’t want to admit something painful?
If I keep getting stuck, I also use EMDR or Focusing techniques to dig deeper. Some emotions take time to surface, and that’s okay — healing takes time.
Create an environment where it feels like you’re truly opening up to someone.
Ideally, we’d be able to talk about these memories with a trusted person. But for many of us (myself included), that hasn’t always been an option.
That’s why I treat journaling as a kind of a substitute, or a preparation for opening up to someone.
One trick that helped me was writing in a private social media account (with the settings locked so only I could see it). It created a sense of “someone might read this,” which helped me structure my thoughts in a clearer way.
Another option is using a private note-taking app or non-public blog. Just make sure you don’t include personal info, even in private settings!
Write it down as soon as possible — before you forget.
The final key step: write down your shame flashbacks ASAP.
I don’t know if this happens to everyone, but in my case, I had spent so many years trying to forget shameful memories that they would disappear within minutes of surfacing.
Since most shame flashbacks come from memories we’ve never talked about before, they tend to vanish quickly.
That’s why it’s so important to write them down before they fade away.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, just writing something is better than nothing. Don’t stress too much about doing it “perfectly” — what matters is building the habit of writing regularly.
Hope this can help you be free from your shame flashbacks and finally breath a little.